From Yesterday by Miriam Epstein

Author:Miriam Epstein [Epstein, Miriam]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 9781497379466
Amazon: 1497379466
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform
Published: 2014-03-19T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I cannot pretend that I'm imagining this stuff any longer. I'm forced to admit this as I sweep up the dead flowers and toss them into a garbage bag. Three garbage bags full, actually, by the time I finish. I take everything to the trash room and chuck it through the chute as quickly as possible.

When I get back to my unit, I pause in the hall before going back inside. Brady is downstairs. I don't want to be alone. I could just...

No.

I don't need to be a poor little distressed girl and throw myself at someone who had the self-control to back off when he knew he'd had too much to drink. I'd be playing with fire, and in my heightened emotional state, I would either say too much or sleep with him and ruin our friendship.

I go inside.

My cell phone has almost no battery left, so I connect it to the wall charger and pick up the land line. I hit the asterisk key, then six and seven before dialing an all to familiar number. It rings three times before a heavily accented male voice comes on the line. "Yah."

I try not to breathe.

"Hello? Someone is there? Hello?"

I hang up and stare at the phone. It is painful to hear my father's voice and not beg him for forgiveness. Or scream at him to beg for mine, because I am still waiting for an apology from both my parents. But we are not there yet, not one of us. Too much Russian pride.

The question I really have to ask myself is why I should feel the least bit of comfort from hearing the voice of a man who condemned me rot in that hospital room? Why do I call the people that I have worked so very hard to keep from finding out where I am for so long? I have done this to hear my mother's voice before, too. I don't know how these things work, but I'm sure if they really wanted to, my parents could trace the calls even though I blocked them. Technology is far too advanced for me to believe otherwise.

Yet, they haven't tried. I'm sure they know who is on the other line.

I could be totally off, though. Even with all the financial resources my parents have, maybe tracing a call like that is only available to the police or something. Still, they could absolutely have hired someone to look for me. It's not like I haven't left little clues here and there, whether I meant to or not.

The truth is, as tough as I pretend to be, I don't think I'll ever be able to completely forget about what it's like to feel safe and secure in my parent's arms. It's a childish impulse, but there have been days where all I wanted was to cry to my mother and ask her to take my pain away.

Not that she would ever be able to. Especially not with all the hurt my sister and I have caused her in the last few years.

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